Oct. 25 2007-Nov. 19 2007

This is a blog I originally wrote on Myspace. Current mood: nostalgic Category: Life Since my last blog which was about two hours ago I've become more depressed because I realize that on this exact day and date last year I found out that I was pregnant with my first child. At first I wasn't too thrilled about having a child but once I knew I had the support of my family and my closet friends I started accepting everything. I was excited that I was going to be a mother. You know??? Then things start going wrong I was hurting and stressing bout getting to the doctors. On November 19,2007 I lost my first child. That day was the worst day of my life. I love my mom to death. If it hadn't been for her I don't think I would have been able to function well for a while. She talked me through that situation.I don't even remember what she said but I know that it got through to me. I thought that all of my feelings of being sad were behind me but they've come back. I just don't understand.I don't think I'll ever get over loosing a child. That's pain that can never go away suppressed maybe but never completely gone.I know that everything that God does in my life is for my benefit but I just don't understand why He had to take my child away. Well I know that God won't put more on me than I can bare.I know that God's plan is way too elaborate for me to understand but I want to understand why I had to loose my child.This is something has been on my mind and I just can't shake it. I really haven't talked to anyone about it in depth so now I'm writing as a form of therapy.

Get Up

I was inspired to do this post because of the number of people that I know that can make it if they only tried and stop making ecxuses for themselves. It saddens me to see and hear that people choose to not exercise their full potential. Teenage mothers who feel as though you can't go to school. Wake up because there are plenty of HBCUs and other prestigious colleges and universities that has daycare and housing available for parents wanting to continue their education. Take advantage of these opportunities. Show others who are in your situation that they too can make it in life. Don't settle for handouts from the government to take care of your household. You have to get up and go get what you want because no one is going to give you anything. So don't think that you're doing the right thing for your child by not following your dreams . If you want something bad enough then by all means work until you have it. All you need is a dream and determination and that will take you far in life.People think that they can't puruse an acting career or a singing career and still take care of their kids. Pursuing your carrer of choice just means that you have to work a whole lot harder than people without children. Don't be afraid to work hard, it'll pay off in the end. I'll post some links with information for you all to read up on.